Women, Wonderful Women, from Gemini the Musical (Day 175)

After the unexpected arrival of Judith Hastings and her brother Randy, Francis’s waspy friends from college, Fran can’t help noticing that Judith seems to be sweet on Francis, a fact that his son seems oblivious to. In this song, he endeavors to school his son in the ways of the fairer sex, but Francis is scornful of his father and rejects his advice. I imagined Fran’s music to be romantic and expansive in the style of Al Martino, a South Philly crooner of renown, perhaps a song like “That’s Amore.” It amused me to think that Fran imagined himself to be not only a ladies’ man but a song stylist in his own private Atlantic City floor show.

Women, wonderful women…
Dagoes chase women,
It’s what we were born to do!
Thrilling, long as they’re willing.
I’ve chased after fat women, sleek women,
Plain women, chic women…
Ponies, ponies are thrilling.
You can make a killing,
But they’ll kill you, I know,
And if you want to die and go to heaven,
A woman is the only way to go.

(spoken) I could teach you…

Francis: Save your breath, I don’t need your advice.
Let me be for once! That would be nice!
Listen, Dad, Casanova you’re not!
Mom divorced you, Lucille ain’t so hot!

Fran: Yo, watch your mouth!
I’ll slap you silly!
That’s how it’s done with a son in South Philly!

Fran (spoken): Come on, Francis, why you always gotta act this way? Why can’t you listen to your old man for once?

(Francis storms out. Fran, now alone, sings more romantically.)

Belle, son tutte belle.
This one special woman seems to have come for you.
But I’m suspicious.
Francis, it seems she’s got eyes for you,
A birthday surprise for you.
Take her, take her and hold her,
Though sooner or later, she’ll hurt you, I know!
But if you want to die and go to heaven,
A woman is the only way to go.
You may regret it, but you won’t forget it!
A woman (oh yes a woman) is a wonderful way to go!

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